Updated: Apr 18
We all know and adore the show 90-day fiancé, and maybe sometimes we romanticize the experience, dreaming of what it would be like to take this chance in real life. Love abroad, just like at home can really be a hit or a miss. Below are two accounts, from two avid travellers, from opposite sides of the globe of their real-life 90-day fiance experiences.
Melosa, founder of Jupiter's Ascent
In December 2019 I travelled to LA to celebrate my birthday. As an extrovert- extrovert, clubbing is a must whenever I travel.
Every single day for the week I was abroad I was a tourist by day and a party animal by night. Quite literally I went from Maleeka to Melosa like Hannah Montana.
On my final weekend, dressed in a pink silk dress, I went to the Argyle club.
At the end of the night, after jumping from table to table like a networking event, as I started to gather my belongings to leave, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to a guy draped in silver and gold chains who asked if I wanted to join his table, which was heaving with bottles of alcohol. He escorted me and my friends over to his table.
While dancing I was approached by a gentleman with a drawn Louisianan accent, evidently high on weed, asking me what my plans were after and if I was enjoying myself. I ignored his advances at first, however, seduced by the atmosphere of the club, I decided to give him some airtime.
At the end of the night we all decided to go for something to eat, he swooped us away in his silver Lamborghini. We ended the night with the best lobster and crab pizza, the taste of this weird but wonderful combination stayed in my mind...
After exchanging numbers he dropped me and my friends home. I woke up the next day to 4 missed calls. I ignored the rest of his calls for most of the day to hang out with my friend, only responding back to him in the evening. He picked me up at around 7 pm, In what would be our first sober conversation. I noticed straight-off his intrigue for all of my travels, my passions, and for all of my hobbies.
I asked him what he were. He said he didn’t have any time to pursue any hobbies as he was working all of the time.
This should have been my first warning sign.
Like a curious child in a science museum, he asked me questions about my whole life. I will never forget the excitement and enthusiasm in his eyes. He looked at me like I was the only thing that mattered in the world. This stayed with me.
I asked him how he earned his living, he told me he owned two CBD companies and went through the liberty of showing me the Instagram pages. I believed him. The next day I flew back to England.
We kept in touch. He messaged me daily telling me he longed to see me again. At this point in my life I was feeling particularly adventurous as I was already going to give up everything to relocate to Canada on an IEC working holiday visa. I asked everyone around me, all of my friends and close family members about the decision to go over to see him. They calmed my nerves, telling me that If I did not take this opportunity, I would regret it for the rest of my life. On top of that, I had my best friend there, so I knew that if shit hit the fan I would be able to go to her.
He purchased my ticket, and in just over a month later I was in my uber on my way to the
airport. At around 5 minutes away from the airport Whitney Houston's ‘Run to you’ started to play in the uber. This has been the first time I had ever heard this song. It should have felt comforting from the beautiful melodies and soulful lyrics, however, I felt a certain type of uneasy feeling that made me want to turn back.
I ignored it and hopped on my flight.
When I arrived he was overjoyed to see me again, he hugged me and introduced me to his friends. Everyone treated me as though they were expecting me, the joyful inquisition for my British culture filled the air for the night.
It seemed like it was only 5 minutes until it went pear-shaped (translation for Americans “went downhill”.)
He went to work during the day, I would only see him at night. The trip ended up turning out to be a one-week-bender with a drug dealer. Turns out for a living he sells weed illegally. The only plus side to this was that his clients were rich folk in the Hills. I spent 50% of my time eating at lavish restaurants, the other 50% of my time at mansion parties. I spent 0% of my time sober and there were 0% romance or feelings shared between us.
I question to this day why he flew me from the other side of the globe for that.
Expectations on each side can either be very low or very high, you’re pretty lucky if the frequency is the same on each end.
This, however, is not impossible. Below is a success story.
Lauren Macaulay thelaurenmacaulay.com
Traveling has played a major part in how I live my life. From visiting Nigeria a handful of times to solo traveling to my favorite places in Europe, I don’t know where I’d be without it. Now traveling to another country, where I will be staying permanently, preparing for life abroad has become a little scary.
When I first met my partner I didn’t think it would be serious. We met at a bar in downtown Houston, while he was here for a conference. I was the third wheel with my friend and her boyfriend who invited me out after a promo shift we worked.
We were hanging out at the bar when some guy came over to me and said, “Hey, what’s up?” He said that he was going to go to the bathroom and then came back to buy me a drink. He bought my drink and proceeded to ask for my number that he wrote on a bar napkin. I didn’t know if that was cute or foolish of him, but he said that his WhatsApp wouldn’t save my number without wifi. He called me the next day and wanted to make plans to go out for dinner the following day.
I really thought about not going because he lived in Ireland, but my friend convinced me that I had nothing to lose. So after we went on our first date that Monday, we made plans to go out that Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday night before he would be leaving Saturday.
I lived in America and he lived in Ireland. We’ve talked every day since the day we met. Being in a long-distance has had its nuances, but being able to travel and see each other has been a tremendous blessing, despite the lockdown.
Now we are engaged to be married and a
re planning a wedding in both of our home countries. Preparing to move abroad and getting married abroad is a whole new chapter of my life that I’m ready to explore. It’s an exciting time but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little nervous.
I think my first fear about moving abroad was being far from my family. I lived in New York for nine years and was only a four-hour flight away from home. Now it’s more like 10-14hrs when you include the traveling and flight times from Houston to Ireland.
Thank God for FaceTime and WhatsApp, because I don’t know how people managed to communicate through the limited ways that were available before then.
My second fear about moving abroad is DRIVING! Not only do I have to learn how to drive on the opposite
side of the road but also the opposite side of the car. This is something that I know I will get over with much practice but I have to admit it’s a bit terrifying.
With difficulties, there are many things that make them worthwhile, and for me, that’s having the support of my fiancé. Not only has his family and friends accepted me as one of their own since day one, but they have always done their best to make sure that I feel at home and now have a second family.
Dating in general is not an easy feat. When you sprinkle on the layer of distance, you add on a whole new set of challenges that can be very intimidating. With great risks come great rewards. If you don’t allow yourself to be vulnerable to these circumstances you can miss out on a world of possibilities. Whether the relationship works out or not, you will gain a new perspective and new experience.